friday blues...err...friday pun nak blues ker?

Helloooo friday...


i have a mixed up feeling today...mostly because i'll be seeing my party girls tomorrow...yayyy!!!when i mean mixed up feeling, i MEAN mixed up! i feel excited, happy (of coslaa kan), anxious, worried, sad...well more to worry than the other feeling...because i'm planning to leave my little one at my mom's...those who are around me know what i'm talking about...it seems ages since the last time ariana met her "nenda"...not because she is far, but more to internal emotional family affair...well, i wont go into the details here but just wanna let you know that everything is back to OK now...and she had been giving signals that she wanna take care of her cucu for few hours weekly...


i dont wanna ariana to get shocked being left behind with "stranger to her eye" and cried the whole day...it'll break my heart even to see her cry for me while i bathe...so, last nite after i n hubs eat our dinner, fetch ariana n off we go to my mom's...we lepak2 for 2 hours and after a while she seems ok with my mom and my youngest sister...so macam ada can kena tinggal nanti...we will do that again tonite but tonite we will try to leave her for an hour while we go to wangsa walk...just so that ariana will feel more familiar to them before tomorrow...kalau tak ok, i kena bawak dialaa...cik, tolong urut budak kenit nih skali yee...hehehe


another thing is her diet...ariana kan breastfeeding...full on weekend because whatever i pump on friday will be keep for monday...tak cukup stok nak bagi for saturday...i could give her the formula tapi kalau dia taknak macamana?and after alan balik, he will fetch ariana...i never leave ariana with alan for more than an hour before this...i wonder how will he read her body languange...nak susu ker?nak tido ker?poo poo ker? or just ngada2?haiz...nilaa akibat tak pernah berenggang ngan anak...susah hati memikirkan...


my original plan was to bring ariana along with me since my aunt who take care ariana is outta town and alan has this replacement school day for deepavali...he will only be back at 2pm if he is lucky...but then my girlfriend are planning for girly2 day out...so we decide on spa for full body pampering..fuhh...dah lama giler nak sangat buat tapi takde masa n takde geng...so haruslaa take this opportunity kan?n camna nak buat full body massage sambil take care ariana?3 jam tuh tau? and the appoinment is on 12pm...sian lak kat dia kot nak tido ker, nak susu ker, kang melalak kang terganggu lak orang2 yang nak rilex tuh...


huh...just the thought of doing something nice for myself pun dah memeningkan kepala...i guess i just have to trust others and let it be...besides, how bad could it be rite?

kenduri

haih...macam2 nak cerita...everytime i pandang/buat something mesti dah set dalam mind nak blog about this laa...nak blog about that laa...tapi in the end, due to lack of time maka tertangguh/tak jadi so lama2 macam lupa terus nak buat entry apa ntah...

so, sebelum terlupa nih nak citer bout something...it may not bother u but it really annoys me...call me sellfish or sombong but i think apa yang i rasa nih berasas...last weekend i went to 2 kenduri orang nak pergi haji...on saturday i went to setapak; kenduri for my grandaunt and her doter...yang datang semua family members and i feel comfortable nak borak ke bukak tudung ke baring ke tak kisahlaa...dah semuanya family member terdekat...aku kan dulu duk ngan onyang, so, anak2 onyang (nenek aku-tokyong, tok alang n toksu) selalu datang so, macam dah rapatla...semua pun macam dah tau salasilah aku which aku taklaa malu cuma taklaa pulak rasa nak canang sewenang2nya...

ok, the next day pulak kenduri for my father's MIL...pun rapat gak coz aku kenal semua adik beradik aunty n anak2 sedara abah CUMA yang datang bukanlah family sahaja...mostly are yang dirai (diorang panggil cik ina) punya old frens, my aunty punya old frens, saudara mara jauh dia and ramai lagilaa yang aku tak kenal...so, melihatkan keakraban kami berborak (me and her family), maybe ada mata2 yang hairan...(eh, sapa nih...tak pernah nampak pun...)and my aunty pun bagitau nilaa cucu i (she refers to ariana...) its an honour really for her to acknowledge ariana as her own granddoter BUT i dun like those suspicious eyes yang memandang...ada a few yang duk korek2 ngan aku tanya nih cucu cik ina ker?aku cakaplaa iye...diorang still macam tak caya...korek lagi...kamu anak siapa?aku cakap anak abah...tak caya lagi...tanya umur brapa?ermmm...saya 29 tahun...tak caya lagi...tanya no brapa?yang sulung...adik mana?aku tunjuk zana n emilda (emir ntah hilang kemana...) tanya lagi brapa orang adik bradik...fail, aku fail nak menjawab...aku cakap ramai...makcik tuh senyum2 lagi...tanya lagi brapa orang?mungkin aku sedikit biadap bila aku ulang balik ramailaa makcik...nak bagitau pun ramai...terus aku blah dari situ...(memang dah nak balik pun...dia amik kesempatan aku salam dia tanya soalan2 camtuh)...yang tanya soalan2 tuh bukan makcik tuh sorang tapi ada a few...but, seriously aku tak selesa...

hati orang perlu dijaga...takkan aku nak canang, errmmm saya anak tiri, cucu tiri sipolan sipolin kan? lagi panjangla soalan dia nanti...pastu sok sek sok sek plak dia kat blakang...orang dah anggap kita macam keluarga, so haruslaa kita return the favor kan...my husband disagree with me having that thought...he said that is the usual question you get when you go to kenduri...kata dah sesi beramah mesra kan...when i think back, betul jugak...tapii...(still tapi lagi nih...)i dun care, tak puas hati gak...kalau ko datang dari family yang normal, senangla nak menjawab...saya anak jenal yang sulung...please, please, PLEASE imagine it from MY point of view...hmmmpphhh...jadi topic argue laki bini pulak...hissyhhh...then my hub said thats why i dun like pergi kenduri...ek eh ke situ pulak...pergi kenduri kan bagus...

aku suka jer pergi kenduri especially kenduri kawin dari aku kecik lagi...masa tulaa my mom akan bagitau haa...nilaa anak2 dara i...pastu kitorang pun macam malu2 siput bila makcik2 cakap ek eh dah besar anak kau...dah boleh buat menantu...masa kenduri gak ko leh pakai lawa2, mekap2 ngan accessories bagai coz kat kenduri semua orang pakai cantik2...nak bergambar ngan pengantin, taklaa tenggelam...kan kan kan...lagi2 sekarang dah ada ariana, excited nak carikkan baju matching kaler baju dia ngan mummy dia...so, walaupun aku tau risiko bakal diterjah ngan soalan2 tak brapa nak suam, aku tetap akan menghadirkan diri gi kenduri...insyaAllah...

she's 9

cepatnya masa berlalu...tepat 20hb 9 bulan yang lepas aku melahirkan ariana sofia binti azlan...harini dia dah 9 bulan...cepatnya!!!scar, stretch mark aku pun tak hilang lagi nih...hmmmpphhh...sekarang dia dah makin lasak...even though dia belum boleh duduk sendiri n merangkak tapi laju jer dia combat2 nih...sekejap dah kat situ, sekejap kat sana pulak...kengkadang kitorang masukkan dia dalam bakul mainan dia...senang sket nak control...tapi lagi bagus kalau dia explore kan?good for her development mentally n physically...ni saja nak tepek gambar ariana dalam perut...hehehe...bukan gambar ultrasound tapi gambar perut aku memboyot...silalah menjamu mata...uweeekkk...

pregger @ 3 months

pregger @ 4 months

pregger @ 5 months

pregger @ 6 months

pregger @ 7 months

gambar nilaa yang aku hantar masuk contest modernmum tuh...ntah hapa2 pegang pokok...macam orang dolu2...huhuhu

pregger @ 8 months

pregger @ 9 months++

the x date

i'm 9 and lasak!!!(nampak macam boy kan?maybe sebab rambut depan segan nak keluar...)

testing videostreaming

i've been trying to upload video into my blog...just to make it more colorful...cewah...before this macam susah coz i took video using my hp and my pc cannot read the format...now that my husband have download the converter, i wanna try wether it can be done or not...kalau ada yang tak dapat tengok tuh sorry ye...

30 minutes worthwhile

just now lunch hour time i managed to grab a pair of new office clothes for myself n my fren got herself a new dress...waallaaa...half n hour pun jadi jer...hehehe...the POWER of shopping...tu pun cuma plan nak beli pants, TERRRbeli blouse...kalau masa panjang apa lagi agaknya yang TERRRbeli ek?

yesterday

yday i had the worst migrain ever...well, actually i've experienced more worst than yday but semalam feel like worst sebab i was at the office...sebab sembelit, angin tak elok naik ke kepala...rasa nak cirit+muntah+migrain melampau serentak...kalau kat rumah nih aku dah tergolek kat toilet bowl...atas bawah menolak serentak...tapi kat ofis nih aku terpaksa gagahkan jugak duduk elok2 kat toilet which is difficult coz nak muntah tapi taktau nak muntah kat mana...lantai dah elok jer kering kang kena marah ngan cleaner lak...hmmppphhh...nak balik alang2 sangat dah kul 5...i ask my boss to go back early n alan pick me up at 5.30pm...atas motor pun aku dah nak pejam2 coz tak larat sangat...sangkut jari kat belt alan then rest my head on his shoulder...alan ajak borak2 coz takut aku terlelap...kang tergolek dok plak kang payah kang...haaa...sampai rumah aku terus tido kat bilik...alan pegi amik ariana alone...

sedar2 dah kul 8.30pm...kepala dah rasa ok sket...keluar bilik tengok cikonet tengah main...baba dia letak dia dalam bakul then load bakul tuh ngan mainan...dia nampak aku terus tersengih2...hilang jap rasa berat kepala...cepat2 mandi coz alan said her last meal was AT 5.30pm then balik rumah tadi ariana tido about 1 hour...nasib baik dia tak nangis...lepas mandi, bagi dia nen then dia main balik...nowadays dia makin aktif...paling suka combat ke arah kipas n main tekan2...kadang2 kalau kipas tuh on dia suka2 nak masukkan jari dia...eee...angkat dia letak atas tilam then dia menyusur balik ke situ...cerita pasal dia tetiba rasa rindu plak...suka sangat bila dia sengih2 tengok kita...i guess she understand that me n alan are her parents means we have the right to gomol, cium dia, grip, gigit dia even its annoying...hehehe...cuba kalau orang lain, baru dukung dah mencebik...pastu nangis macam sedih sangat...huhuhu...alamak, rindu cikonetlaa...i wish she could understand i called n babble to me on d fon...haih...

29 + 3

today i'm officially 29 years and 3 days old...muahahaha...yours truly has reached her last 20s on last friday...yep...dah NAK tua...blum tua lagi ye (in denial nyer sangat!!!) so, konon nak giv myself a treat, i take half day off on last friday...g klcc have lunch with my sis then go window shopping...i'm looking for a bag to share with ariana...now everytime i'm out with her, i hav to carry her friso backpack and no more handbag for mummy...TAK SUKA!!! my aim : big, roomy, lembik, 2 flat shoulder handle, can be sling, not black, but can go with any outfit...haa rasa senang tak nak carik...in the end i did find 1 bag that suits my needs...bukan nak branded pun...tapi my sis tak bagi beli coz i only took 10 minutes to decide...she said i shud look for other shops...haih...maleh dah...end up i didn't buy anything coz dah janji alan pick me up at 2.45pm...

it's easy to go anywhere when your husband was halfday too...well, dia memang keje pagi jer...ater, cikgu kan...the day before he suggested to go to IKEA nak carik highchair cik jendul...susah nak bagi makan skang coz kat bb sitter ada rocker, kat rumah terpaksa someone pegang or baringkan dia...dah pandai meniarap, mana dia nak baring lama2...besides that we get some cute2 stuff for our home...ntahla, takleh nak recall sangat apa kitorang beli tapi habis dekat rm300 gaklaa...huh...mostly barang ariana laa...for mummy mungkin tray bakar kek tuh jer kot...ada a few stuff for my MIL kat kampung...suka some things kat IKEA coz it makes our life/work easier, dun u think?

lama giler kat sana kul 9pm baru sampai rumah...tapau nasi ayam on the run cafe (hub's feveret) then thats it for the day...tak tau nak bagitau apa perasaan on that day coz actually i expected more...but then its my fault coz i already knew my husband very well...(pengajaran : dun expect too much)...harus ubah perangai nih...pikir2 balik sian dia...he has no idea how/what/where to do so, itu jer yang dia terpikir...kenalaa appreciate kan...besides, dia pun penat...sorry yang...

on saturday duk rumah lepak/rehat...masak siakap sambal, goreng kentang+ikan bilis+onion ring+cili api...petang g Aeon AU2 window shopping lagi...he offered to buy me perfume tapi i takmau...i sudah tawar hati nak beli apa2...so, after beli buku n new bottle for ariana kitorang pun balik...yet, nothing for mummy...malam tuh my sis called via 3g from pavi asking me to decide which bag i want...she wanna buy for me...muahahaha...Alhamdulillah, rezeki jangan ditolak...

so, on sunday we had our breakfast at my mom's house coz i wanna pikap my bag!!!ariana treat people macam alien...semua dia taknak...nangis kaw2 siap sedu sedan keluar air hidung bagai...mau clingy ngan mummy jer...huh, susahlaa camnih...itu nendalaa sayang...itu aunty zana n aunty fina...takpe, nanti kita g sana lagi k...so, thats it peeps...thats my bday celebration besides tons of wishes from sms and fb...thank u all...

oh, as for pressie from hubby, u'll have to wait coz now he know what i want :)

cik siti datang lagi!!

dah beberapa hari asyik terkejut2 jer...especially bila nak gi dapur...harituh masa in law datang pun dia boleh keluar dari blakang baldi, menjerit ipar aku...lampu dapur memang tak off kalau malam...kengkadang tengah elok2 tengok tv, dengar bunyi bising kat dapur...aku cakap ngan alan, takleh jadi nih...pasang perangkap malam nih gak...memula letak depan pintu bilik air, tak kena...malam tadi alih letak kat depan pintu dapur...and this morning...(sapa yang tengah makan, sila habiskan dulu ye...)

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haa...skali dapat 2 ekor...amik kau!!!

splash, splash

my parents in law were here for the last weekend and they brought along my sis in law n her 3 children. so, haruslaa plan xtvt yang sesuai untuk kekanak kan...so, on saturday kitorang bawaklaa diorang g klcc park main2 air n playground...termasuklaa cikonet ariana...bebudak semua tak mandi, kitorang hangkut g naik lrt...

sampai sana, ada something happen...my fault...sedih sangat...i put ariana baring on the bench...tengah nak bukak payung coz nak cover silau, ariana try to grasp for the umbrella n fell off to the ground...yes, she FELL!!! apa lagi melalaklaa...i manage to catch her dress before she fell tapi jatuh jugak...kena marah ngan hubby (apa agaknya dia buat masa tuh eh?) gosok2 ariana...cuba carik lebam kat mana2 tapi tak jumpa...after that bagi minum, bagi bantal, ariana terus tido...1 hour later baru bangun n tengok dia ok jer, kitorang bawaklaa dia mandi gak...so, here the pic...

jatuh dari bench tuh ke benda bulat surrounding pokok tuh...batu n besi...huu...sory iana...

baru bgn tido...belum warm up lagi...

errr...apa nih baba...apsal excited sangat nih?

splash...splash...

"haaa...best gak main air nih ek mummy" (sila abaikan mulut mummy dia yg muncung tuh yer...)

kak athirah beria2 berenang

mummy enterframe

time to go home...(i ask alan to wear the nursing cover to cover ariana's head sebab PANAS-nampak tak bayang2 alan tuh tegak mencacak?)

menyampah tahap gaban

takde semangat nak keje harini...makin menyampah dengan most of the staff kat sini...sekor2 perangai buruk keluar...not that my behaviour is excellent TAPI this is not a healthy environment for me...makin depressed bila sampai ofis nih...dulu kalau ada problem kat rumah, looking forward to come to the office where my frens are...can chit chat, gelak2, makan sedap2, shopping DI SAMPING BUAT KEJE YANG MELAMBAK...kira riuhlaa ofis macam pasar tapi all in a good vibe...positive energy...syiok...now i have to drag myself coming to the office just because i have an obligation to help my husband, to settle my debts, to help my family and to splurge on things that i want for myself...


eee...nak cepat2 settle all the loan so that i can be at home watching after my children...tapi confirm ke duk rumah boleh rasa macam kat syurga? i guess its up to ourself nak create environment around us tapi macamana nak create a positive envi if ko sorang2 then yang create negative envi nih ramai? maybe by sitting in a corner mending my own business could help...tapi nanti gila pulak duk sorang2...


aku jenis yang kena ada kawan...dulu pernah skali masa matrik semua roomate aku keluar...ada discussionla, datinglaa...aku nih yang takde bf nih melangut sensorang dalam bilik...nak study pun otak cam blank...so, aku pun sarung tudung then round blok, cafe 2-3 kali sampai aku bajet member aku dah balik...ooohhhh...i miss them...they all were the best roomates anyone could have...sampai camtu skali aku nak hilangkan bosan...


nuruuull...cepat2laa habiskan pantang ko...bila ko nak balik ofis nih?waaa...