alahai...penat aku taip semalam pasal nothing pun sebenarnya but still penatla walaupun merapu jer. pastu tetiba blogspot macam hang pastu harini baru dapat bukak draft balik, GONE. everything gone. malaslaa weh nak taip balik. nothing much happen pun last weekend except for our visit to our elderly relatives including my atok which we supposed to meet in rembau masa raya kedua. Alhamdulillah setel dah jumpa semua ahli keluarga. cuma tahun nih tak dapat jumpa sorang makcik alan yang "melarikan diri". its ok, maybe she has her own reason why she did it.
and my bff finally came visit me after more than 3 weeks late. thought of getting a sibling for ariana but after 2 negative results, i settled with "its just late". and we must try harder. one of my aunt said its too early for me to have another child as ariana is just 20 months old. but i think otherwise. she speaks thru her experience when her 2nd son which now is 2 and half years old seems like rejecting her after she got her 3rd baby girl. i think her son is just being a boy. cranky, jumping around, screaming is not necessarily becos he's lack of attention. plus, my aunty is a housewife. of cos he have all the attention that he need. its just us the mother that feels left behind when our child choose somebody else over us. they are growing up. however, its easier said than done. i dunno yet how am i gonna take it when ariana reject me. sigh, even now and then when she sometimes prefer her babah already hurt my feelings a little bit.
its a motherly feeling. we just cant help it. i guess we just have to enjoy them as much as we can and cherish all the moments together while we could. once they know how to do things on their own, then slowly we will not be needed. well, not entirely. we still be needed but in a different way. for approval of curfew, bf/gf, pocket money, etc. but no matter how big they grow, they are still the small baby in our eyes...
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